Starting my placement has become confusing and difficult.
Prior to starting the course I thought it would be easy as the placement is
coordinated by the University but it is proving difficult. I feel like I have
to jump through lots of hoops to get placed somewhere. It’s somewhat
tricky because I’m not the person who is organising it but I do
feel quite alone and caught up in the bureaucracy of the organisation. Other people
on the course have only had to meet their supplied supervisor, on
their placement with them, and introduced to their placement leader, then
starting. But with me I feel I’m caught up within a large, unorganised organisation.
I was told once I arrived at the school that I thought I was going to be at for 2 days a week that the team leader can only have me for one day which I was surprised at as she said the placement coordinator told her but failed to tell me. I feel like everyone’s talking about me and my placement but the information is failing to get to me.
It’s an anxious place to be put in considering I should have anxieties about the art therapy part of the placement but at the moment my anxieties lye within the organisational process, with meeting team leaders, realising I’ll be on two placements instead of one, adapting to new buildings and people etc. It’s a frightening prospect. I am very much itching to start, itching to get settled in to the schools. On the plus side I can take away these sorts of uneasy feelings, remembering what it’s like to be in new situations for when I do start the therapy sessions I can understand just what it’s like to be somewhere new, in a an unfamiliar setting, with a total stranger and expect to settle in, to disclose personal information.
Reflection:
I realise I am feeling anxious because I am in a situation where I lack control. A situation I know I do not like but I must be able to sit with the 'unknown' which is spoken about a lot. I am usually in a state where I have the control, where I am able to contact the right people to get the correct answers. But here I feel I am out of my depth. Out of control and anxious. Perhaps this is how my future art therapy clients may feel when embarking on therapy. Of course this prospect is daunting and anxiety provoking too.
I was told once I arrived at the school that I thought I was going to be at for 2 days a week that the team leader can only have me for one day which I was surprised at as she said the placement coordinator told her but failed to tell me. I feel like everyone’s talking about me and my placement but the information is failing to get to me.
It’s an anxious place to be put in considering I should have anxieties about the art therapy part of the placement but at the moment my anxieties lye within the organisational process, with meeting team leaders, realising I’ll be on two placements instead of one, adapting to new buildings and people etc. It’s a frightening prospect. I am very much itching to start, itching to get settled in to the schools. On the plus side I can take away these sorts of uneasy feelings, remembering what it’s like to be in new situations for when I do start the therapy sessions I can understand just what it’s like to be somewhere new, in a an unfamiliar setting, with a total stranger and expect to settle in, to disclose personal information.
Reflection:
I realise I am feeling anxious because I am in a situation where I lack control. A situation I know I do not like but I must be able to sit with the 'unknown' which is spoken about a lot. I am usually in a state where I have the control, where I am able to contact the right people to get the correct answers. But here I feel I am out of my depth. Out of control and anxious. Perhaps this is how my future art therapy clients may feel when embarking on therapy. Of course this prospect is daunting and anxiety provoking too.
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